The Pursuit of Relationship with God

Last week's lesson was a very hard hitting confession of sin written by an individual who has “been there, done that!” I know from our class discussion, we as a group could relate to the writer's cry of anguish. I know I could. Last week, the author spoke of a full and complete recognition of sin. He didn't sugar coat it in the slightest. One of the most important aspects of his poem was his acknowledgment where he admits:


“The lingering visions of what I've done haunt my soul, assault my heart, dominate my thoughts.”

I confess that I too have been in this exact position too many times. When you are there, it's so difficult to see God. I know at times like this, all I can see is my penchant to do evil. That's what makes this weeks lesson on relationship so important.

Many years ago, I heard a teaching on God's covenant with Abraham. In essence, God cut Abraham a deal that He knew Abraham couldn't keep. The keeping of the covenant was going to depend on God. Guess what? He did!

One thing that I have to carefully remind myself is that I dare not compare myself to others. If I do, I end up with something along the lines of “Well at least I didn't do that!” That type of attitude places me in a position where I go to God on the strength of my merit. My approach to God would be “God, here is what I did. I know it's bad, but it's not as bad as what Billy or Sue did.” Jesus described this type of person as a Pharisee. Someone who stands before God and says “Thank God I'm not like this sinner ...” while the sinner simply beats on his chest and cries out “Forgive me God!”

One thing I can do though, is to read the Bible and understand that it does not sugar coat anything. I get to read about Abraham the “Father of our Faith” and look at some of the bonehead stunts he pulled. Things I wouldn't have known if the Word hadn't told me about them. And then I read in Romans 4 the story of Abraham's greatest triumph and what the Bible says about him. If you read carefully, you will see that God has a rather high opinion of Mr. Abraham.

The subject of our study is Psalm 51, written by David. Clearly David is someone that made his share of mistakes and yet God has a pretty high opinion of this guy as well. Let's see, who else could we look at? Oh, how about Moses? I remember a story where he killed a guy. Any doubt in your mind what God thinks about Moses? And then there is Paul, Peter, Elijah, Rahab and on and on. I read in the Bible where people partner up with God and then fail, and sometimes in a rather spectacular fashion. Yet, God holds up both ends of the agreement.

I write this because I am reaching out to God and asking Him to help me learn about my relationship with Him. Too many times, I short change both God and myself because my eyes are focused on me and my failings. I have a very strong tendency to “degree” my sin's and then stand back and compare myself with Hitler or Jeffrey Dahmer or whoever and then smugly feel, “well at least I didn't do that!”

Hebrew's tells us to look unto Jesus, the author and FINISHER of our faith. It is so trite to speak of “let go and let God” when someone is locked into a pattern of sin that they physically can't let go of. That person (ie: Andy) will then focus his eyes inward and miss the big picture. I need to rely on the relationship God established and trust Him. I have to understand that the relationship with God is based on His performance, not mine. I so desperately need that.

This last year has been a very trying year for me. Lofty goals and desires developed as a young man simply aren't going to happen. I accept that. It's part of “maturing” as both an adult and a Christian. However, I do think the one thing I have learned is this: There is NOTHING more important than understanding my relationship with God. It really doesn't matter what else I do or don't do, if I can focus my energies on God and what HE can do and not worry about what I can or can't do, then I believe I will begin to experience the peace of relationship that Paul and David talk about in their writings.

Oh Lord, please don't let me fall into the trap of comparison. Don't let me compare myself with anyone. I sin Lord. I sin often. I sin on purpose. I sin because I like it. It's easy to sin Lord, I'm good at it, a true professional. I come to you and ask simply that you take this mess I've created and let me experience your love towards me in such a way, it will fill those areas I try to fill with sin.