Monday, September 28, 2009

Week 17 - Somebody Else

This week the author outlines a strategy for shifting the blame from ourselves to someone else when considering our personal failures. He is describing ways he has tried to shift the blame for his sins so he didn’t have to accept responsibility for his actions. He asks a couple of interesting questions at the end of the chapter.


Are there places where you’ve been tempted to blame inside struggles on outside pressures?

Where have you failed to seek the grace that is your’s as God’s child because you have successfully told yourself your most pressing problem is outside and not inside yourself?

I’ve been thinking of these two questions quite a bit. Concerning question #1, I don’t know that I blame any inside struggle on outside influences as he indicates. I do find that outside influences have caused great damage in my life. As I’ve aged, I’ve been forced to deal with these issues. I can very easily point to an instance in 2001 that was external pressure that has caused me no small amount of apprehension since that time. The Lord has very clearly used the event to show me issues that were already “inside”. The event in question simply brought existing issues to the surface for me to deal with. They were “new” to me, but the external event in question wasn’t the cause of the discomfort and pain, it simply brought it to the surface.

At some point in the last year or so, I began to see many of these “external” issues in a new light. Jerry refers to them as sandpaper. Most of the external situations I complain about are issues that bring to the surface things I need to deal with, but have carefully avoided. I think of my most recent business trip to the home office. I had to deal with woman that quite frankly doesn’t like me and is intent on making it rough for me when it suits her purposes. (That is my perspective at this time. I don’t have the complete picture yet about what issues she is dealing with). If this situation were left up to me, I would simply avoid her and either blow her off, or verbally blow her away. Neither of these two options will accomplish a Christlike work in me. So I spend time in the light of 1 Cor. 13 and Gal 5 and ask the Lord a simple question: “As your ambassador in this situation, how do I respond to her and honor you at the same time?” With that question in my mind, I entered into the meeting with her. She launched into the meeting and I noticed she was an equal opportunity destroyer as she also laid into one of the other operations managers with the same sharp verbal knife’s she cut me with. So as the meeting progressed, I took notes on what I saw and heard. From that little action of taking notes during the meeting I learned some very interesting things, and they weren’t about her, they were about me. I was sitting in class for sure, but I was in class with the Lord not her. It was like He was sitting there teaching me and using her as sandpaper to work on my rough edges. Let me show you what I mean. I had my Blackberry with me (this was BEFORE it blew up ....GRRRRRRRRRRR) and so felt led to review 1 Cor. 13 in the Amplified Bible.

1 Cor 13:4-9 Love endures long {and} is patient and kind; love never is envious {nor} boils over with jealousy, is not boastful {or} vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) {and} does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights {or} its own way, {for} it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy {or} fretful {or} resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice {and} unrighteousness, but rejoices when right {and} truth prevail. Love bears up under anything {and} everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. As for prophecy (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled {and} pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed {and} cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth]. For our knowledge is fragmentary (incomplete and imperfect), and our prophecy (our teaching) is fragmentary (incomplete and imperfect).

Several elements jumped out at me (right in the meeting I might add).

Love endures long and is patient. Application: Instead of getting mad at her because of her actions, I need to be a bit more patient with her. I need to endure it and not whine or complain about it.

Love is not rude or unmannerly. Application: Instead of giving her a piece of my mind, I need to be thoughtful and treat her with respect and NOT respond in Kind. (I wanted to drill her, but didn’t!)

Love is ready to believe the best of EVERY PERSON. Application: I believed the worst of her and in fact, told Julia some things I believed about her that were downright wrong. I needed to find something good about her and concentrate on that.

Love is not touchy ..Application: Ouch! All right Lord all right I get it!

I now have a new perspective on this whole problem. I now know how I can be a good ambassador and represent God well in the land of corporate meetings at least in this situation. I think there is enough meat here for me to grow and apply to other corporate situations. All in all, it ended up being a good meeting!

Question # 2 is an ongoing battle for me. I am so hard on myself, that I don’t accept God’s grace when I should. This is because I have been trying to “earn” points with God. I can’t just accept God’s grace, I have to do SOMETHING, it can’t be that simple. Can it?

Monday, September 21, 2009

The prosperity Gospel - week 16

I don’t like the term “Health and Wealth” gospel. I don’t like it because it is a pejorative term used to demean several prominent ministers who are very prosperous. In the mid to late 70’s Julia and I became aware of the Pentecostal perspective of Christianity. I can say without a doubt that our lives were changed forever by the ministries of Kenneth Hagin and Kenneth Copeland. I would go so far as to say I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for the Holy Spirit’s ministry through these two men. It was through their ministry I received deliverance from drugs, smoking and a dramatic turn around of my life.


Almost immediately we also became aware of the controversy of these ministries. That time in our lives was a critical nurturing period for our faith. I heard the criticism of these ministries. I listened to their teachings and I could not reconcile the criticism of their ministries with what they actually taught. They simply didn’t teach what they were being accused of. Julia and I listened to hundred and hundred’s of hours of tapes. We arose early on Sunday morning and would meet at a friends house and watch Kenneth Copeland on their TV before we went to Church. Kenneth Copeland did not teach a gospel of “name it and claim it” as it was being described by his detractors.

We became fond of many teachers. We enjoyed their ministries and we grew spiritually. Did we make mistakes? You bet we did. Those mistakes weren’t because of our pursuit of wealth through the gospel for personal gain however. I like to think of them as mistakes of “Enthusiasm”.

Over the last 10 years of ministry at Gateway, I no longer listen to Kenneth Copeland on a regular basis. It’s not because of Kenneth Copeland’s teaching, but rather I’ve learned new things. I’ve experienced God in a new light and some of the things that worked for me in the 70’s and the 80’s simply don’t work any more. Several years ago I spoke to our former Lay Leader about this issue. I told him “I wish I had learned more Charles Swindol and less Kenneth Copeland.” I was unbalanced in my approach to life and I took good scriptural teachings and I didn’t connect them very well to the path of life I was traveling at the time. There is much truth in Kenneth Copeland’s teachings. There are powerful truths there. But he only has one piece of the puzzle. Life is not black or white. There are shades of gray in life that I missed through Kenneth’s ministry. His testimony of God’s deliverance is powerful. His presentation of the death and resurrection of Christ is one of the defining moments in my Christian life. But he is human and he sees through the glass darkly as I do. He may see more things than I do, but he doesn’t see everything. Neither did the apostle Paul who penned those words. Paul also wrote “imitate me as I imitate Christ”. I tried in my early Christian walk to imitate Kenneth Copeland as he imitated Christ. I have fond memories of that walk and I am here to tell you, God used Kenneth Copeland’s ministry to infuse me with a love for God’s Word and to help both Julia and I to receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit. I will forever be grateful to God and “Brother Copeland” for his ministry.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Sinners and Unafraid - Week 15

One of the best lines from this lesson is this: “But as you get older, you tend to look back at least as much as you look forward.”


How true this is. I’ve found this especially true for me in the last 6 months. I’ve always been an introspective type person. I’ve always analyzed my actions. Usually I don’t give myself a very good grade. I always find fault and am quick to point out everything I could have done. I spend little or any time thinking about any good I might have done. Recently that has changed.

I just finished a new book by the author Andrew Farley. The book is “The Naked Gospel”. The author has insight into the freedom God gave us when we became Christians. I’ve “Known” about this freedom for my entire Christian life. The problem is I haven’t really “KNOWN” it in my heart. I’m now beginning to understand what Jesus accomplished for us. This type of introspection is healthy, life giving and energizing. The more I realize what Jesus actually got accomplished and that I can’t add to it or take away from it, the more freedom I experience. I described it the other day as the bands around my chest are beginning to loosen. My past life has been colorful and there are parts of it I simply hate. However I can’t change one of them. Not one. Just as Jesus said “Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his life” he could just have easily said “Which of you by thinking about it can change one thing in your past”. I’ve worried and fretted about things that are long since gone. I’ve allowed my mental conditioning to be used by the enemy to beat me regularly because of my past. “The Naked Gospel” exposed that lie to me in such a way I can receive it. The knowledge that Jesus paid the price in full and is sitting at the right hand of God is comforting beyond words to this pilgrim. I can certainly pause and reflect on life. That’s good. I no longer have to beat myself up over my past. I am simply ruining a perfectly good day and that my friends, is a tragedy I will no longer indulge in.

The second line that is so meaningful to me here is “... if you and I are at all willing to humbly and honestly look at our lives, we will be forced to admit we are flawed human beings.” This is a simple yet powerful statement. Somehow in my theological upbringing, I picked up on the notion that I was a flawed human being, but that through my growth as a Christian, those flaws would be removed and I would proceed to grow and “fix” these flaws. I thought God would show me issues I had to deal with (be it smoking, drinking, sex or whatever the issue of the day would be) and then He would “Fix” them. Once they were “Fixed” I wouldn’t have to deal with them anymore.

WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!! Boy did I miss the boat here. God certainly doesn’t want me to participate in these things and He does want to deliver me from them. But I live in a fallen world and like it or not, perfection is a goal that is unattainable this side of heaven. I’ve been diligently following rules and lists of things I thought I should do to “fix” things and when they don’t “fix” I get frustrated and I end up going around that mountain again and again trying to “fix” them. As we all know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I must point to the book “The Naked Gospel” as a lifeline God has thrown to me. One of the things that has caused me to be trapped in the past is I really didn’t think God had actually forgiven me. I knew I hadn’t forgiven me. I labored under the mistaken idea that God was always about half mad at me because I couldn’t get it right. How tragic for me. How much time have I wasted and lost in such a futile pursuit? I live in a fallen world and I am an ambassador to this world, a representative of the Kingdom of God. I am not perfect and God knew it and thus we have Jesus and the cross. I simply can’t add to that and my goal is to rest in His finished work daily. If I can go to bed at night and say I’ve rested in God’s forgiveness and the sacrifice of Jesus, then I’ve had a very good day!

The third line and the best for me is: “Isn’t it wonderful that we can do all of these things because, like David, we have learned that our hope in life is not in the purity of our character or the perfection of our performance.” As I sit here and read that line over and over and over, I can physically feel the bands in my chest loosen and i sense a lightness in my step that wasn’t there even a month ago. The advantages of this knowledge is apparent to me immediately.

I will be a better husband to Julia because I won’t be walking around on eggshells all the time, and I won’t be so angry because I make mistakes. Julia will feel better about being around me because I won’t be mad at me all the time!

I will be a better employee for my company. I will make less mistakes because I won’t be so worried about making mistakes. I will work less hours and be more effective in the time I do work.

I will be a better Lay Leader at Gateway. Because I won’t be so concerned about God being mad at me all the time. This will result in me being free to listen to God more and not “cowering” in His presence because I’m scared He’s half popped at me all the time!

Take A Moment

Are there places where your living portrays an unhealthy fear of God’s anger, judgment and rejection?

Do you ever doubt he could love a person such as you?

Is there a place in your life where you are still holding on to a regret even though God has forgiven you and does not respond to you based on your past performance?