Week 17 - Somebody Else

This week the author outlines a strategy for shifting the blame from ourselves to someone else when considering our personal failures. He is describing ways he has tried to shift the blame for his sins so he didn’t have to accept responsibility for his actions. He asks a couple of interesting questions at the end of the chapter.


Are there places where you’ve been tempted to blame inside struggles on outside pressures?

Where have you failed to seek the grace that is your’s as God’s child because you have successfully told yourself your most pressing problem is outside and not inside yourself?

I’ve been thinking of these two questions quite a bit. Concerning question #1, I don’t know that I blame any inside struggle on outside influences as he indicates. I do find that outside influences have caused great damage in my life. As I’ve aged, I’ve been forced to deal with these issues. I can very easily point to an instance in 2001 that was external pressure that has caused me no small amount of apprehension since that time. The Lord has very clearly used the event to show me issues that were already “inside”. The event in question simply brought existing issues to the surface for me to deal with. They were “new” to me, but the external event in question wasn’t the cause of the discomfort and pain, it simply brought it to the surface.

At some point in the last year or so, I began to see many of these “external” issues in a new light. Jerry refers to them as sandpaper. Most of the external situations I complain about are issues that bring to the surface things I need to deal with, but have carefully avoided. I think of my most recent business trip to the home office. I had to deal with woman that quite frankly doesn’t like me and is intent on making it rough for me when it suits her purposes. (That is my perspective at this time. I don’t have the complete picture yet about what issues she is dealing with). If this situation were left up to me, I would simply avoid her and either blow her off, or verbally blow her away. Neither of these two options will accomplish a Christlike work in me. So I spend time in the light of 1 Cor. 13 and Gal 5 and ask the Lord a simple question: “As your ambassador in this situation, how do I respond to her and honor you at the same time?” With that question in my mind, I entered into the meeting with her. She launched into the meeting and I noticed she was an equal opportunity destroyer as she also laid into one of the other operations managers with the same sharp verbal knife’s she cut me with. So as the meeting progressed, I took notes on what I saw and heard. From that little action of taking notes during the meeting I learned some very interesting things, and they weren’t about her, they were about me. I was sitting in class for sure, but I was in class with the Lord not her. It was like He was sitting there teaching me and using her as sandpaper to work on my rough edges. Let me show you what I mean. I had my Blackberry with me (this was BEFORE it blew up ....GRRRRRRRRRRR) and so felt led to review 1 Cor. 13 in the Amplified Bible.

1 Cor 13:4-9 Love endures long {and} is patient and kind; love never is envious {nor} boils over with jealousy, is not boastful {or} vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) {and} does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights {or} its own way, {for} it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy {or} fretful {or} resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice {and} unrighteousness, but rejoices when right {and} truth prevail. Love bears up under anything {and} everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. As for prophecy (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled {and} pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed {and} cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth]. For our knowledge is fragmentary (incomplete and imperfect), and our prophecy (our teaching) is fragmentary (incomplete and imperfect).

Several elements jumped out at me (right in the meeting I might add).

Love endures long and is patient. Application: Instead of getting mad at her because of her actions, I need to be a bit more patient with her. I need to endure it and not whine or complain about it.

Love is not rude or unmannerly. Application: Instead of giving her a piece of my mind, I need to be thoughtful and treat her with respect and NOT respond in Kind. (I wanted to drill her, but didn’t!)

Love is ready to believe the best of EVERY PERSON. Application: I believed the worst of her and in fact, told Julia some things I believed about her that were downright wrong. I needed to find something good about her and concentrate on that.

Love is not touchy ..Application: Ouch! All right Lord all right I get it!

I now have a new perspective on this whole problem. I now know how I can be a good ambassador and represent God well in the land of corporate meetings at least in this situation. I think there is enough meat here for me to grow and apply to other corporate situations. All in all, it ended up being a good meeting!

Question # 2 is an ongoing battle for me. I am so hard on myself, that I don’t accept God’s grace when I should. This is because I have been trying to “earn” points with God. I can’t just accept God’s grace, I have to do SOMETHING, it can’t be that simple. Can it?