Sinners and Unafraid - Week 15

One of the best lines from this lesson is this: “But as you get older, you tend to look back at least as much as you look forward.”


How true this is. I’ve found this especially true for me in the last 6 months. I’ve always been an introspective type person. I’ve always analyzed my actions. Usually I don’t give myself a very good grade. I always find fault and am quick to point out everything I could have done. I spend little or any time thinking about any good I might have done. Recently that has changed.

I just finished a new book by the author Andrew Farley. The book is “The Naked Gospel”. The author has insight into the freedom God gave us when we became Christians. I’ve “Known” about this freedom for my entire Christian life. The problem is I haven’t really “KNOWN” it in my heart. I’m now beginning to understand what Jesus accomplished for us. This type of introspection is healthy, life giving and energizing. The more I realize what Jesus actually got accomplished and that I can’t add to it or take away from it, the more freedom I experience. I described it the other day as the bands around my chest are beginning to loosen. My past life has been colorful and there are parts of it I simply hate. However I can’t change one of them. Not one. Just as Jesus said “Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his life” he could just have easily said “Which of you by thinking about it can change one thing in your past”. I’ve worried and fretted about things that are long since gone. I’ve allowed my mental conditioning to be used by the enemy to beat me regularly because of my past. “The Naked Gospel” exposed that lie to me in such a way I can receive it. The knowledge that Jesus paid the price in full and is sitting at the right hand of God is comforting beyond words to this pilgrim. I can certainly pause and reflect on life. That’s good. I no longer have to beat myself up over my past. I am simply ruining a perfectly good day and that my friends, is a tragedy I will no longer indulge in.

The second line that is so meaningful to me here is “... if you and I are at all willing to humbly and honestly look at our lives, we will be forced to admit we are flawed human beings.” This is a simple yet powerful statement. Somehow in my theological upbringing, I picked up on the notion that I was a flawed human being, but that through my growth as a Christian, those flaws would be removed and I would proceed to grow and “fix” these flaws. I thought God would show me issues I had to deal with (be it smoking, drinking, sex or whatever the issue of the day would be) and then He would “Fix” them. Once they were “Fixed” I wouldn’t have to deal with them anymore.

WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!! Boy did I miss the boat here. God certainly doesn’t want me to participate in these things and He does want to deliver me from them. But I live in a fallen world and like it or not, perfection is a goal that is unattainable this side of heaven. I’ve been diligently following rules and lists of things I thought I should do to “fix” things and when they don’t “fix” I get frustrated and I end up going around that mountain again and again trying to “fix” them. As we all know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I must point to the book “The Naked Gospel” as a lifeline God has thrown to me. One of the things that has caused me to be trapped in the past is I really didn’t think God had actually forgiven me. I knew I hadn’t forgiven me. I labored under the mistaken idea that God was always about half mad at me because I couldn’t get it right. How tragic for me. How much time have I wasted and lost in such a futile pursuit? I live in a fallen world and I am an ambassador to this world, a representative of the Kingdom of God. I am not perfect and God knew it and thus we have Jesus and the cross. I simply can’t add to that and my goal is to rest in His finished work daily. If I can go to bed at night and say I’ve rested in God’s forgiveness and the sacrifice of Jesus, then I’ve had a very good day!

The third line and the best for me is: “Isn’t it wonderful that we can do all of these things because, like David, we have learned that our hope in life is not in the purity of our character or the perfection of our performance.” As I sit here and read that line over and over and over, I can physically feel the bands in my chest loosen and i sense a lightness in my step that wasn’t there even a month ago. The advantages of this knowledge is apparent to me immediately.

I will be a better husband to Julia because I won’t be walking around on eggshells all the time, and I won’t be so angry because I make mistakes. Julia will feel better about being around me because I won’t be mad at me all the time!

I will be a better employee for my company. I will make less mistakes because I won’t be so worried about making mistakes. I will work less hours and be more effective in the time I do work.

I will be a better Lay Leader at Gateway. Because I won’t be so concerned about God being mad at me all the time. This will result in me being free to listen to God more and not “cowering” in His presence because I’m scared He’s half popped at me all the time!

Take A Moment

Are there places where your living portrays an unhealthy fear of God’s anger, judgment and rejection?

Do you ever doubt he could love a person such as you?

Is there a place in your life where you are still holding on to a regret even though God has forgiven you and does not respond to you based on your past performance?