This week we are to consider the idea of being “purged” of our sins. The author introduces a very valid concept of two things that need to happen. The first is forgiveness and the second is a cleansing or “purging” of the sin that caused us to need to be forgiven.
This week I can relate to the author’s line of thinking. I understand that I am forgiven. God provided the lamb that was the ultimate sacrifice. So I am forgiven now and for eternity. With that understanding or (as the author does) if we view forgiveness as a backdrop, I am confronted with the reality of Romans 7.
Rom 7:14 We know that the Law is spiritual; but I am a creature of the flesh [carnal, unspiritual], having been sold into slavery under [the control of] sin.
Rom 7:15-18 (AMP) For I do not understand my own actions [I am baffled, bewildered]. I do not practice {or} accomplish what I wish, but I do the very thing that I loathe [which my moral instinct condemns]. Now if I do [habitually] what is contrary to my desire, [that means that] I acknowledge {and} agree that the Law is good (morally excellent) {and} that I take sides with it. However, it is no longer I who do the deed, but the sin [principle] which is at home in me {and} has possession of me. For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot perform it. [I have the intention and urge to do what is right, but no power to carry it out.]
This is a struggle I have had for many years. I prayed Psalm 139:23-24 with an honest heart and God answered my prayer. Here was my problem in a nutshell. When I didn’t know what was inside me and I thought I was ok spiritually, then I FELT good about myself and my spiritual life. The reality was completely different than my perception and when I learned what I was actually capable of and what I was willing to do, I was devastated. I thought God had removed that type of thing from my life. Obviously my understanding of my true situation was wrong.
I can relate to David in this sense. I want cleansed from the garbage inside me. I hate what I see inside of me worse than anything. I don’t want it in there. But it is. So what’s a Christian to do? Counseling? Yes, I’m involved in very helpful counseling. Prayer? Obviously, I talk to God about this regularly. Start drinking again? Been there done that … didn’t work then, won’t work now.
The bottom line? I don’t know what to do. There must be something I can do but I haven’t found it yet. I’m looking diligently for the answer, but I simply haven't found it. Let me illustrate this whole issue from an event that happened on my most recent trip to Valdosta.
We have a new franchise in the Valdosta area and I am responsible for their business. I was there the last couple of days to work with them. After I am through at their office, I am exhausted. I’ve been pounding the road for 10 days and flown all over and I’m mentally and physically tired. So on my way to eat dinner, I see a Japanese Steakhouse. It’s one of my favorite places to eat, so I stop in. I’m the only one at the table so I’m sitting there catching up on e-mails. I suddenly turn around and see the hostess seating a young couple and two little girls next to me. They are African American and so while they are sitting I “look them over” and I make a few mental notes about them. The notes went something like this:
1. He looks like a rap artist. Long braided hair, funky hat that isn’t worn like I think it should be, so clearly that is a problem. Gold jewelry everywhere, mouth full of gaudy gold fillings. Obviously a thug.
2. She is younger than he is and much nicer dressed. She must have a job. She is probably pulling the whole load. He is probably along for the ride tonight and really doesn’t want to be here.
3. The two little girls are probably illegitimate and they are not married.
4. They probably are on welfare and I’m footing the bill for them.
Mind you, I made these judgments in milliseconds. I had these two pegged. Then I sensed the Lord move me to talk to them. So I did. Here is what I found out.
1. They have been married for 3 years.
2. They are both Christians
3. They are 29 and 30 and have been struggling to stay together for 15 years.
4. He was in prison for 8 years for shooting a man.
5. He became a Christian and has been on the right path for several years.
6. He gives his wife all the credit for his even being alive and God is a major part of his life.
7. She works in the hospitality industry and he is a roofer who is having to deal with a very bad economy.
Need I say more? I simply asked them to tell me more and what I heard was the Lord speaking to me. Oh sure they were talking, but it was the Lord speaking.
I didn’t say much. What could I say that would be of any help to them. I’m hard of hearing anyway and I could barely understand him at all, but I heard enough to know I had been put squarely in my place again. As I left I prayed with them sitting right there at the table. He prayed for me and gave thanks for God bringing me into his life and for encouragement.
As I left and paid I felt miserable. However, God gave me a vision. As I was paying the bill, I saw Jesus standing there beside me, waiting on me to pay the bill. As I left to go to my car, He opened the door for me and went outside and stood there besides me. I looked over at Him and I was ashamed. He was looking at me, smiling with a toothpick and opened the door of my car for me. I said that’s why I need a savior isn’t it. “Yup” he said as he walked around the front of the car, got in on the passenger side and said “Let’s go back to the hotel.”
I simply didn’t have any words other than “Oh Lord … purge me.”
Their names are Skeeter, Kay, Sharika and Nestle. Please pray for them, they are a great family. Pray for me too … I need it desperately.
A final note. When Kay told me her little girl was named Nestle, I laughed and said that sounded suspiciously like a chocolate bar. She said it was. When she was pregnant with her, she loved Nestle crunch bars and that Nestle sounded better than crunch! Then her eyes sparkled and she just laughed a real heartfelt laugh. I did too ….
Isn’t God good!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Whiter than snow - week 20
This week is about Nathan the prophet. The author gives us a very clear picture of a simple, un-pretentious man who heard God and did what he was told. “Thou art the man” he told David. This is a very gutsy move on his part. I rank it right up there with Esther going to the king for Mordicai. When I read in the Bible of people like Esther and Nathan, I always wonder what I would do in the same situation. I think this is an important question to ask. “What would I do?” I think it is important to ask because my tendancy has always been to compare myself to others and usually the comparison is for the purpose of making me either look better of feel better. “Whew, thank God I’m not like that person” or “I am glad I don’t’ struggle with that problem” are some of the nicer things I’ve thought.
What this week’s lesson has done is to bring into focus a very real problem for me. I am no different than anyone else in this regard. All people have problems and God loves all people and desires that no one should perish. I need to see people through God’s eyes. All people, even Mike Tyson.
Julia and I record TV shows during the day and then we watch them in the evening. We like to watch Oprah and last week Oprah interviewed Mike Tyson. I like boxing and Mike Tyson was one of the most fearsome fighters I’ve ever seen. He was powerful, mean and virtually unbeatable. I didn’t like him at all. I didn’t know anyone that liked him. In fact, I hated the guy. I wanted to see him destroyed in the ring. He was beaten by Buster Douglas in a famous fight in the early 90’s. After that, “Iron Mike” went downhill and finally ended up in prison. Good ridance or so I thought. When I saw that Oprah was going to have “Iron Mike” on her show I thought it would be interesting to watch it. So we did. And did God ever touch my life through the show.
Julia and I sat there riveted to the screen unable to turn away while Mike Tyson poured out his soul to a national audience. The pain this man suffered as a boy growing up was unbearable. He recounted time after time incidents that happened in his life and how the one man who offered any help to him (Gus Dematto) or showed him any concern at all, taught him to be a warrior. He taught him to fight. Gus died in 1985 and Mike was on his own. Here was a 20 year old kid that earned 300 Million dollars with no guideance and a heart full of pain. As he described his life and how he has changed, you could see his contrite heart. He lost his 4 year old daughter to a terrible accident. As a young boy he raised pet pigeons. A bully came into his house and killed them all right in front of his eyes and Mike made a vow that no one would ever bully him again. They didn't.
As he recounted these incidents and what prison did to him, the tears would not stop flowing. Here was “Iron Mike Tyson” as a broken man of 43 trying to get his life back together. Julia and I were stunned. There were tears in her eyes and I was just as moved. My thoughts went to my judgement of Mike Tyson. I judged him with a harsh judgement that had no mercy or offered no grace. Why? Because I thought I was clearly better than him. Oh how wrong can a person be.
Julia and I were both affected by the show. But there is more to the story. I saw a news blurb in the paper last Friday about Evander Holifield appearing on the Oprah show with Mike Tyson to reconcile. (They had a famous fight where Mike bit Evander on his ear). Mike had spoken of this incident on his earlier appearance. He mentioned he apologized but it wasn’t sincere and he wished he could sit down with Evander and talk about it. Evander saw the show, called Oprah and she brought them together. Again, it was a riviting moment. Evander as a Christian had forgiven Mike and the reconciliation was complete.
What is my take away from this week’s lesson? That I am a person like others. I have issues, they have issues. All people need God and God needs His people to walk with their eyes open and a heart towards seeing other’s as He does. If we can do that, then we can truly say we are followers of Christ.
Oh Lord, please allow me the grace to see others as you do. Please allow me to offer grace and mercy when no one else will. I need that and I know others need it, so help me be that person that makes a differnce in someone’s life today because I had the courage to see them as you do and to act on that with the love of God.
What this week’s lesson has done is to bring into focus a very real problem for me. I am no different than anyone else in this regard. All people have problems and God loves all people and desires that no one should perish. I need to see people through God’s eyes. All people, even Mike Tyson.
Julia and I record TV shows during the day and then we watch them in the evening. We like to watch Oprah and last week Oprah interviewed Mike Tyson. I like boxing and Mike Tyson was one of the most fearsome fighters I’ve ever seen. He was powerful, mean and virtually unbeatable. I didn’t like him at all. I didn’t know anyone that liked him. In fact, I hated the guy. I wanted to see him destroyed in the ring. He was beaten by Buster Douglas in a famous fight in the early 90’s. After that, “Iron Mike” went downhill and finally ended up in prison. Good ridance or so I thought. When I saw that Oprah was going to have “Iron Mike” on her show I thought it would be interesting to watch it. So we did. And did God ever touch my life through the show.
Julia and I sat there riveted to the screen unable to turn away while Mike Tyson poured out his soul to a national audience. The pain this man suffered as a boy growing up was unbearable. He recounted time after time incidents that happened in his life and how the one man who offered any help to him (Gus Dematto) or showed him any concern at all, taught him to be a warrior. He taught him to fight. Gus died in 1985 and Mike was on his own. Here was a 20 year old kid that earned 300 Million dollars with no guideance and a heart full of pain. As he described his life and how he has changed, you could see his contrite heart. He lost his 4 year old daughter to a terrible accident. As a young boy he raised pet pigeons. A bully came into his house and killed them all right in front of his eyes and Mike made a vow that no one would ever bully him again. They didn't.
As he recounted these incidents and what prison did to him, the tears would not stop flowing. Here was “Iron Mike Tyson” as a broken man of 43 trying to get his life back together. Julia and I were stunned. There were tears in her eyes and I was just as moved. My thoughts went to my judgement of Mike Tyson. I judged him with a harsh judgement that had no mercy or offered no grace. Why? Because I thought I was clearly better than him. Oh how wrong can a person be.
Julia and I were both affected by the show. But there is more to the story. I saw a news blurb in the paper last Friday about Evander Holifield appearing on the Oprah show with Mike Tyson to reconcile. (They had a famous fight where Mike bit Evander on his ear). Mike had spoken of this incident on his earlier appearance. He mentioned he apologized but it wasn’t sincere and he wished he could sit down with Evander and talk about it. Evander saw the show, called Oprah and she brought them together. Again, it was a riviting moment. Evander as a Christian had forgiven Mike and the reconciliation was complete.
What is my take away from this week’s lesson? That I am a person like others. I have issues, they have issues. All people need God and God needs His people to walk with their eyes open and a heart towards seeing other’s as He does. If we can do that, then we can truly say we are followers of Christ.
Oh Lord, please allow me the grace to see others as you do. Please allow me to offer grace and mercy when no one else will. I need that and I know others need it, so help me be that person that makes a differnce in someone’s life today because I had the courage to see them as you do and to act on that with the love of God.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Whiter Than Snow - Week 19 Part Deux
Last week the author spoke to us about the Lord’s Prayer. He was making a point about how it would disrupt our carefully constructed lives and move us into a very uncomfortable place where we don’t have control.
This week the author shifts us to a close look at “Thou art the Man” and the type of person Nathan the prophet was to deliver such a message.
The Lord has shown me some things this week that pertain to the lesson from last week and and important aspect of this weeks lesson. So I will have 2 entries this week. Todays’ entry is Week 19 Part Deux!
This week I am on a very difficult trip covering 4 states in 5 days. The nature of the trip forces me to fly. I don’t’ like flying anymore because of my arm and the hassle airport travel is in today’s world. Nevertheless, I am flying this week. The itinerary is a very complicated one as you can imagine. 10 Flights in 5 different airports have to land and take off within a very narrow window for me to be able to get it done. I don’t like this type of trip, it makes me nervous. While sitting in row 15 seat B on a plane I’d never heard of, I started thinking about travel and why it makes me nervous. Now I don’t know that the Lord was in Seat 15 A or it could have been 15 B, but it seemed like it. It is a control issue. When flying I don’t have control of much of anything. On this trip I had less than any control of anything. I was worried about connections. I was worried about the rental car and directions in Des Moines (which I drove to the wrong one anyway). I was worried because they took the bag I had my computer in and stored it someplace where I wasn’t. So as I sat there and thought about it, I sensed the Lord’s presence. I realized I had a choice to make. I could worry about things I have no control over, or I could relax and trust God to cover me. Which was I going to do? As I thought about it, I smiled and said (to no one in particular) “Traveling with me is not an adventure is it Lord?” I said that because I realized I so carefully structure my life and my travel schedule to remove as much uncertainty as possible. That’s why I can drive all over the country and usually tell you within a few minutes of when I will be where. As soon as I said that, I heard “Not much fun either!” I started laughing out loud in seat 15 B. He was right. I don’t allow time for fun anymore. I’m way too serious. If you would travel with me, I don’t smell the roses so to speak, I’m all business. The problem is I’m not just that way with business. I’m that way in all aspects of my life. I simply don’t allow for uncertainty. At least I do everything I can to minimize it and if there is a choice to make, I will always make the choice with the less certainty in it.
There is new freedom on the horizon. It is full of excitement, wonder and chaos (as I see it). I’ll keep you posted on my success in navigating these new waters!
This week the author shifts us to a close look at “Thou art the Man” and the type of person Nathan the prophet was to deliver such a message.
The Lord has shown me some things this week that pertain to the lesson from last week and and important aspect of this weeks lesson. So I will have 2 entries this week. Todays’ entry is Week 19 Part Deux!
This week I am on a very difficult trip covering 4 states in 5 days. The nature of the trip forces me to fly. I don’t’ like flying anymore because of my arm and the hassle airport travel is in today’s world. Nevertheless, I am flying this week. The itinerary is a very complicated one as you can imagine. 10 Flights in 5 different airports have to land and take off within a very narrow window for me to be able to get it done. I don’t like this type of trip, it makes me nervous. While sitting in row 15 seat B on a plane I’d never heard of, I started thinking about travel and why it makes me nervous. Now I don’t know that the Lord was in Seat 15 A or it could have been 15 B, but it seemed like it. It is a control issue. When flying I don’t have control of much of anything. On this trip I had less than any control of anything. I was worried about connections. I was worried about the rental car and directions in Des Moines (which I drove to the wrong one anyway). I was worried because they took the bag I had my computer in and stored it someplace where I wasn’t. So as I sat there and thought about it, I sensed the Lord’s presence. I realized I had a choice to make. I could worry about things I have no control over, or I could relax and trust God to cover me. Which was I going to do? As I thought about it, I smiled and said (to no one in particular) “Traveling with me is not an adventure is it Lord?” I said that because I realized I so carefully structure my life and my travel schedule to remove as much uncertainty as possible. That’s why I can drive all over the country and usually tell you within a few minutes of when I will be where. As soon as I said that, I heard “Not much fun either!” I started laughing out loud in seat 15 B. He was right. I don’t allow time for fun anymore. I’m way too serious. If you would travel with me, I don’t smell the roses so to speak, I’m all business. The problem is I’m not just that way with business. I’m that way in all aspects of my life. I simply don’t allow for uncertainty. At least I do everything I can to minimize it and if there is a choice to make, I will always make the choice with the less certainty in it.
There is new freedom on the horizon. It is full of excitement, wonder and chaos (as I see it). I’ll keep you posted on my success in navigating these new waters!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Whiter Than Snow - Week 19
Let me be perfectly clear about this chapter of our study. I had a very difficult time with this. I disagree with the author on many things, but I just can’t seem to get on the same page he is with this chapter. I’ll share what I see and if you disagree with me, I would love to hear about it.
Ps 51:4 Against You, You only, have I sinned and done that which is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified in Your sentence and faultless in your judgment.
Matt 6:9-13 Pray, therefore, like this: Our Father Who is in heaven, hallowed (kept holy) be Your name. Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven (left, remitted, and let go of the debts, and have given up resentment against) our debtors. And lead (bring) us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. {For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.}
This week the author looks at the Lord’s Prayer and for me, he sees something I don’t. He makes the comment this can’t be answered without the tearing down and rebuilding of many things in our lives. He is looking at this prayer as the end all prayer in the Bible. He made the comment “Had David prayed and lived this prayer, Psalm 51 wouldn’t be in the Bible.” Well that’s true. Had David done a number of things in Proverbs, Psalm 51 wouldn’t be in the Bible either. I guess what I am saying is I don’t see the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6 in the same light as the author. I may be completely off base here, but let me look at this prayer from a different perspective.
I think we need to look at this section of scripture as a piece of a larger unit of teaching. Matthew 5 places Jesus on the side of a mountain teaching the multitudes. Chapter 5, 6, 7 are all part of that same teaching of which the Lord’s Prayer is a small part. He talks about many things but he has a couple of theme’s he is putting out for the crowds. I want to look at those themes for a moment.
The first theme is an overview of the type of person God blesses. We call this the “sermon on the mount” and it is the first thing he discusses in Matthew 5. I think this shows people the target they are shooting for. This is the type of person you are to be if you want God to bless you. Jesus is simply setting a rather high standard for behavior.
The second theme is a rather in depth look at what types of things this person will have to do to actually BE the type of person Jesus described in the “sermon on the mount”. This is actually a “to-do” list describing such things as anger, adultery, divorce, vows, revenge, giving to the poor and other duties.
The Lord’s Prayer seems to me to be a request for God to bring to pass the conditions needed to enable us to meet God’s standard.
1. Bring about conditions where God’s name will be honored.
2. Bring about conditions where things work on earth as they do in heaven.
3. Bring about conditions where our daily needs are met continuously.
4. Bring about conditions where forgiveness reigns.
5. Bring about conditions where satan’s influence is minimized.
After the prayer, He goes into more detail about the things we need to do to operate effectively according to God’s will. Don’t be fearful, don’t condemn others, and be persistent in prayer.
He finishes chapter 7 with encouragement on how to build a solid, Godly foundation for your life.
This is my understanding of Matthew 5-7. So when the author begins talking about how badly this prayer will interrupt his carefully constructed life, I simply don’t see it this way. He wants to concentrate on a very narrow aspect of this prayer and (in my opinion) head down a rabbit trail of negativity.
Ps 51:4 Against You, You only, have I sinned and done that which is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified in Your sentence and faultless in your judgment.
Matt 6:9-13 Pray, therefore, like this: Our Father Who is in heaven, hallowed (kept holy) be Your name. Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven (left, remitted, and let go of the debts, and have given up resentment against) our debtors. And lead (bring) us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. {For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.}
This week the author looks at the Lord’s Prayer and for me, he sees something I don’t. He makes the comment this can’t be answered without the tearing down and rebuilding of many things in our lives. He is looking at this prayer as the end all prayer in the Bible. He made the comment “Had David prayed and lived this prayer, Psalm 51 wouldn’t be in the Bible.” Well that’s true. Had David done a number of things in Proverbs, Psalm 51 wouldn’t be in the Bible either. I guess what I am saying is I don’t see the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6 in the same light as the author. I may be completely off base here, but let me look at this prayer from a different perspective.
I think we need to look at this section of scripture as a piece of a larger unit of teaching. Matthew 5 places Jesus on the side of a mountain teaching the multitudes. Chapter 5, 6, 7 are all part of that same teaching of which the Lord’s Prayer is a small part. He talks about many things but he has a couple of theme’s he is putting out for the crowds. I want to look at those themes for a moment.
The first theme is an overview of the type of person God blesses. We call this the “sermon on the mount” and it is the first thing he discusses in Matthew 5. I think this shows people the target they are shooting for. This is the type of person you are to be if you want God to bless you. Jesus is simply setting a rather high standard for behavior.
The second theme is a rather in depth look at what types of things this person will have to do to actually BE the type of person Jesus described in the “sermon on the mount”. This is actually a “to-do” list describing such things as anger, adultery, divorce, vows, revenge, giving to the poor and other duties.
The Lord’s Prayer seems to me to be a request for God to bring to pass the conditions needed to enable us to meet God’s standard.
1. Bring about conditions where God’s name will be honored.
2. Bring about conditions where things work on earth as they do in heaven.
3. Bring about conditions where our daily needs are met continuously.
4. Bring about conditions where forgiveness reigns.
5. Bring about conditions where satan’s influence is minimized.
After the prayer, He goes into more detail about the things we need to do to operate effectively according to God’s will. Don’t be fearful, don’t condemn others, and be persistent in prayer.
He finishes chapter 7 with encouragement on how to build a solid, Godly foundation for your life.
This is my understanding of Matthew 5-7. So when the author begins talking about how badly this prayer will interrupt his carefully constructed life, I simply don’t see it this way. He wants to concentrate on a very narrow aspect of this prayer and (in my opinion) head down a rabbit trail of negativity.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Whiter Than Snow - Week 18
Ps 51:16 For You delight not in sacrifice, or else would I give it; You find no pleasure in burnt offering.
I wish I would live with you in view
Eyes to your Glory
Ears to your wisdom
Heart for your Grace
But I live with me in view
These 5 lines and this particular verse capture my heart as it has been changed in the last 12 months. I relate very strongly to these words. I think I could write an entire book on this weeks lesson and what it means to me, but I won’t. Let me just concentrate on these verses.
When I read this scripture, I’m reminded that God is not a God of lists and to do’s. I don’t have to perform for him, and He doesn’t want me trying. This is a huge thing for me. I learned at a very young age that performance was the key indicator of social health! If you didn’t perform at an expected level, you were punished for it. More importantly when you did manage to get it right and perform at the expected level, no one ever praised you for it, because that’s what you were expected to do. This put me in the position where I had to perform at a certain level just to stay accepted. This is what I learned as a young man. Naturally I carried this with me into adulthood. It wasn’t a bad thing to be striving to hit high performance as a young man in my 20’s. I was a super achiever at work. I worked all the time of course, but that’s ok, I was making progress, or so I thought. It didn’t work for me at any time, I just didn’t know it. The bar kept moving and I kept chasing it. It was always just out of reach, so I would work harder, longer and still I never got there. Now fast forward to today. I can see the problem very clearly and I don’t want to continue down the same path. The only problem is I don’t know HOW to not do what I’ve done for so many years. I don’t know how to NOT work 60 - 70 hour weeks. I don’t know how to take a rest and relax anymore. My idea of time off during the day is only working 8 hours! God doesn’t expect that of me, Julia doesn’t expect it of me, no one I know expects it of me. Who is it then that is driving this? People I knew 40 years ago. People who were heavy task masters as a young boy, it is they who drive my performance today. 40 years is the number of years the Israelites stumbled through the desert. 40 years is the number of years Moses stayed in the desert. 40 Years is the number of years I have been running from people who have long since died and are out of my life. 40 years I have been trying to perform for people that set unreasonable goals for me and set standards that were unattainable. I think it’s time to stop chasing the magic bean and cross over into the promised land. I don’t want to see this side of the mountain again!
I wish I would live with you in view
After I had the bad experience in Chicago I thought to myself many times, “I wish I could sit down at the kitchen table with just Jesus and I and have a cup of coffee and just talk with Him”. Then slowly I realized that I had the chance to do that every day with Julia. She is part of the body of Christ. She is Jesus in this world. If I listen closely then I can hear Him speak in her words. They are not always words I want to hear, but words I NEED to hear. They are spoken in love with the intent of helping me. So what I thought was an unreachable goal was before me every day, I just needed eyes to see and ears to hear. Our former lay leader captured this idea very clearly when he stated, “It’s amazing how many times the Holy Spirit sounds like my wife Joy!”
Concerning the eyes, ears and grace of God, I realize I have that as well through the body of Christ. I need to be more open to how God may well speak to me through others. This last Sunday we had 23 people in our class. That is the most I remember in any one class in 20 years of Gateway. As I sat there and looked around I saw people I love dearly and have shared many an intimate moment with in other classes such as these. I see God in this class. I’ve seen great hurt and pain that has been shared and worked on and through in many of the members of the class. How could I ask for more from God? I’ve seen Him at work on a regular basis in the lives of our classmates. I’ve seen and heard God on a weekly basis. That in and of itself is quite incredible. I’m reminded of a verse in John’s gospel:
John 14:9 Jesus replied, Have I been with all of you for so long a time, and do you not recognize {and} know Me yet, Philip? Anyone who has seen Me has seen the Father. How can you say then, Show us the Father?
Philip was like Andy or Andy is like Philip, depending on your point of view. Philip was looking for God to do something beyond the obvious, something spectacular. The idea that you would be able to see God by watching someone you know was really a foreign concept to Philip. My desire to meet God at the kitchen table has been answered a thousand times by Julia. There have been times I sat at the kitchen table with other Christian friends and unknowingly “Talked with God” and He has spoken to me through the lives of these fellow Ambassadors. That is quite amazing when you think about it!
I wish I would live with you in view
Eyes to your Glory
Ears to your wisdom
Heart for your Grace
But I live with me in view
These 5 lines and this particular verse capture my heart as it has been changed in the last 12 months. I relate very strongly to these words. I think I could write an entire book on this weeks lesson and what it means to me, but I won’t. Let me just concentrate on these verses.
When I read this scripture, I’m reminded that God is not a God of lists and to do’s. I don’t have to perform for him, and He doesn’t want me trying. This is a huge thing for me. I learned at a very young age that performance was the key indicator of social health! If you didn’t perform at an expected level, you were punished for it. More importantly when you did manage to get it right and perform at the expected level, no one ever praised you for it, because that’s what you were expected to do. This put me in the position where I had to perform at a certain level just to stay accepted. This is what I learned as a young man. Naturally I carried this with me into adulthood. It wasn’t a bad thing to be striving to hit high performance as a young man in my 20’s. I was a super achiever at work. I worked all the time of course, but that’s ok, I was making progress, or so I thought. It didn’t work for me at any time, I just didn’t know it. The bar kept moving and I kept chasing it. It was always just out of reach, so I would work harder, longer and still I never got there. Now fast forward to today. I can see the problem very clearly and I don’t want to continue down the same path. The only problem is I don’t know HOW to not do what I’ve done for so many years. I don’t know how to NOT work 60 - 70 hour weeks. I don’t know how to take a rest and relax anymore. My idea of time off during the day is only working 8 hours! God doesn’t expect that of me, Julia doesn’t expect it of me, no one I know expects it of me. Who is it then that is driving this? People I knew 40 years ago. People who were heavy task masters as a young boy, it is they who drive my performance today. 40 years is the number of years the Israelites stumbled through the desert. 40 years is the number of years Moses stayed in the desert. 40 Years is the number of years I have been running from people who have long since died and are out of my life. 40 years I have been trying to perform for people that set unreasonable goals for me and set standards that were unattainable. I think it’s time to stop chasing the magic bean and cross over into the promised land. I don’t want to see this side of the mountain again!
I wish I would live with you in view
After I had the bad experience in Chicago I thought to myself many times, “I wish I could sit down at the kitchen table with just Jesus and I and have a cup of coffee and just talk with Him”. Then slowly I realized that I had the chance to do that every day with Julia. She is part of the body of Christ. She is Jesus in this world. If I listen closely then I can hear Him speak in her words. They are not always words I want to hear, but words I NEED to hear. They are spoken in love with the intent of helping me. So what I thought was an unreachable goal was before me every day, I just needed eyes to see and ears to hear. Our former lay leader captured this idea very clearly when he stated, “It’s amazing how many times the Holy Spirit sounds like my wife Joy!”
Concerning the eyes, ears and grace of God, I realize I have that as well through the body of Christ. I need to be more open to how God may well speak to me through others. This last Sunday we had 23 people in our class. That is the most I remember in any one class in 20 years of Gateway. As I sat there and looked around I saw people I love dearly and have shared many an intimate moment with in other classes such as these. I see God in this class. I’ve seen great hurt and pain that has been shared and worked on and through in many of the members of the class. How could I ask for more from God? I’ve seen Him at work on a regular basis in the lives of our classmates. I’ve seen and heard God on a weekly basis. That in and of itself is quite incredible. I’m reminded of a verse in John’s gospel:
John 14:9 Jesus replied, Have I been with all of you for so long a time, and do you not recognize {and} know Me yet, Philip? Anyone who has seen Me has seen the Father. How can you say then, Show us the Father?
Philip was like Andy or Andy is like Philip, depending on your point of view. Philip was looking for God to do something beyond the obvious, something spectacular. The idea that you would be able to see God by watching someone you know was really a foreign concept to Philip. My desire to meet God at the kitchen table has been answered a thousand times by Julia. There have been times I sat at the kitchen table with other Christian friends and unknowingly “Talked with God” and He has spoken to me through the lives of these fellow Ambassadors. That is quite amazing when you think about it!
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