This week we are to consider the idea of being “purged” of our sins. The author introduces a very valid concept of two things that need to happen. The first is forgiveness and the second is a cleansing or “purging” of the sin that caused us to need to be forgiven.
This week I can relate to the author’s line of thinking. I understand that I am forgiven. God provided the lamb that was the ultimate sacrifice. So I am forgiven now and for eternity. With that understanding or (as the author does) if we view forgiveness as a backdrop, I am confronted with the reality of Romans 7.
Rom 7:14 We know that the Law is spiritual; but I am a creature of the flesh [carnal, unspiritual], having been sold into slavery under [the control of] sin.
Rom 7:15-18 (AMP) For I do not understand my own actions [I am baffled, bewildered]. I do not practice {or} accomplish what I wish, but I do the very thing that I loathe [which my moral instinct condemns]. Now if I do [habitually] what is contrary to my desire, [that means that] I acknowledge {and} agree that the Law is good (morally excellent) {and} that I take sides with it. However, it is no longer I who do the deed, but the sin [principle] which is at home in me {and} has possession of me. For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot perform it. [I have the intention and urge to do what is right, but no power to carry it out.]
This is a struggle I have had for many years. I prayed Psalm 139:23-24 with an honest heart and God answered my prayer. Here was my problem in a nutshell. When I didn’t know what was inside me and I thought I was ok spiritually, then I FELT good about myself and my spiritual life. The reality was completely different than my perception and when I learned what I was actually capable of and what I was willing to do, I was devastated. I thought God had removed that type of thing from my life. Obviously my understanding of my true situation was wrong.
I can relate to David in this sense. I want cleansed from the garbage inside me. I hate what I see inside of me worse than anything. I don’t want it in there. But it is. So what’s a Christian to do? Counseling? Yes, I’m involved in very helpful counseling. Prayer? Obviously, I talk to God about this regularly. Start drinking again? Been there done that … didn’t work then, won’t work now.
The bottom line? I don’t know what to do. There must be something I can do but I haven’t found it yet. I’m looking diligently for the answer, but I simply haven't found it. Let me illustrate this whole issue from an event that happened on my most recent trip to Valdosta.
We have a new franchise in the Valdosta area and I am responsible for their business. I was there the last couple of days to work with them. After I am through at their office, I am exhausted. I’ve been pounding the road for 10 days and flown all over and I’m mentally and physically tired. So on my way to eat dinner, I see a Japanese Steakhouse. It’s one of my favorite places to eat, so I stop in. I’m the only one at the table so I’m sitting there catching up on e-mails. I suddenly turn around and see the hostess seating a young couple and two little girls next to me. They are African American and so while they are sitting I “look them over” and I make a few mental notes about them. The notes went something like this:
1. He looks like a rap artist. Long braided hair, funky hat that isn’t worn like I think it should be, so clearly that is a problem. Gold jewelry everywhere, mouth full of gaudy gold fillings. Obviously a thug.
2. She is younger than he is and much nicer dressed. She must have a job. She is probably pulling the whole load. He is probably along for the ride tonight and really doesn’t want to be here.
3. The two little girls are probably illegitimate and they are not married.
4. They probably are on welfare and I’m footing the bill for them.
Mind you, I made these judgments in milliseconds. I had these two pegged. Then I sensed the Lord move me to talk to them. So I did. Here is what I found out.
1. They have been married for 3 years.
2. They are both Christians
3. They are 29 and 30 and have been struggling to stay together for 15 years.
4. He was in prison for 8 years for shooting a man.
5. He became a Christian and has been on the right path for several years.
6. He gives his wife all the credit for his even being alive and God is a major part of his life.
7. She works in the hospitality industry and he is a roofer who is having to deal with a very bad economy.
Need I say more? I simply asked them to tell me more and what I heard was the Lord speaking to me. Oh sure they were talking, but it was the Lord speaking.
I didn’t say much. What could I say that would be of any help to them. I’m hard of hearing anyway and I could barely understand him at all, but I heard enough to know I had been put squarely in my place again. As I left I prayed with them sitting right there at the table. He prayed for me and gave thanks for God bringing me into his life and for encouragement.
As I left and paid I felt miserable. However, God gave me a vision. As I was paying the bill, I saw Jesus standing there beside me, waiting on me to pay the bill. As I left to go to my car, He opened the door for me and went outside and stood there besides me. I looked over at Him and I was ashamed. He was looking at me, smiling with a toothpick and opened the door of my car for me. I said that’s why I need a savior isn’t it. “Yup” he said as he walked around the front of the car, got in on the passenger side and said “Let’s go back to the hotel.”
I simply didn’t have any words other than “Oh Lord … purge me.”
Their names are Skeeter, Kay, Sharika and Nestle. Please pray for them, they are a great family. Pray for me too … I need it desperately.
A final note. When Kay told me her little girl was named Nestle, I laughed and said that sounded suspiciously like a chocolate bar. She said it was. When she was pregnant with her, she loved Nestle crunch bars and that Nestle sounded better than crunch! Then her eyes sparkled and she just laughed a real heartfelt laugh. I did too ….
Isn’t God good!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Andy,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing so honestly and openly. I find that other people are one of God's greatest gifts to us, especially those who are the least like us. As we hear others' stories, we learn and grow. It is a beautiful thing.
To everyone trying to post and having a problem:
ReplyDeleteIn the "comment as" section, the very last choice says anonymous. You should be able to select that and comment without a problem. Alternatively, if you select name/url, you should be able to leave just your name without creating any accounts.
Thanks Leland ... I appreciate your insights!
ReplyDelete